Let the Light Come to You
Sitting on my desk, a tag from a teabag reads, “the difference between a flower and a weed is a judgment.” I don’t know who said it, it is quoted anonymously, but I can’t begin to tell you how much these words mean to me.
At a training earlier this year, with my teacher Clarissa Pinkola Estes, I actually had the sweet opportunity to meditate with a dandelion. It might sound crazy, but not to me. What did the Dandelion have to say? Well, I won’t share everything, but I will say that she told me that what people consider to be weeds are actually sacred, too. That those “weeds” long to be seen, appreciated, and loved. They long to live and be a respected part of the ecosystem.
Which leads me to "vulnerability." More and more, I am learning just how sacred vulnerability is. Not because I read it. There are great books and talks out there that I am grateful for (thank you, Brene Brown, for making this conversation such a game changer). But I have learned in the deepest ways from my experience. From taking risks; sometimes falling flat on my face or inserting my foot in my mouth; from making choices that don’t work out; making mistakes and having conversations that I wish I could take back. Vulnerability lets me just let it all move through me. I don’t wish to banish the mistakes, the perceived ugly, or the tender places. I grow there.
The parts of me that feel vulnerable, undesirable, or “weed-like” carry big medicine. They carry longing. There is tremendous power in longing. Go ahead and call me crazy, but I long for longing. I’m a "dandelion-talking, longing-for-longing, devoted-to-the-sacred" kind of woman. My vulnerability leads me to my path of devotion and truth. I know that my wants and aspirations don’t belong just to me. They probably belong to you, too, at least in some way.
I long for more sacred circles of women baring their scar-skin and standing in their truth. I long for more real conversations about female leadership and women in business. I long to feel so deeply connected to a tribe of like-minded women that support, co-creation and collaboration becomes the norm. I long for trust and confidence in a tribe that helps me continue to move forward, create, take action, be honest, and be of service in ways that delight and inspire me day after day. I long for more intimate, heartfull friendships that take me laughing and crying into the night.
I have seen this modeled by a few organizations. One, especially, with huge heart and love for bringing more grace into the world. I recently had the opportunity to attend one of their retreats. I watched women come together in such a way that no challenge could dissolve their resonance, confidence, and support for each other. Their commitment to each other, to growth, to liberation through connection was palpable and inspiring. That’s what Katie Hess and the awesome women at Lotus Wei have. I’ll be bold and say, wow, I want that, too.
And really, who wouldn’t?
I know that "longing" can be seen a little bit like a weed – uproot it, make it go away, pretend it's not there. But, oh, how I wish to show you the strength and wisdom and joy that lives inside your longing! Because we all carry it. We all carry medicine. That is why I do what I do. That is why I create groups, teach, work with women one-on-one, and write poetry. That is why I am writing my new book. That is why my “business” is constantly evolving, shifting, and transforming to meet my longings, as well as of those I work with - to open up new growth, expansion, wisdom, and liberation.
I want to be an active participant in my life, in a collective, in the beauty of everyday longing. I want to be part of a sisterhood rising toward their own delicious brilliance, heartache, love, desire, and yes, longing. I want to be a part of co-creative movement that wants nothing less than to bring more liberation, compassion, and ease to the world.
During the Lotus Wei retreat in Costa Rica, we were asked, "if you had a super power, what would it be?" Mine would be to be able to grant wishes. I would love to help people know what it feels like to receive; to belong; to grow more generous and compassionate on every level; to embody what they long for and who they truly are.
That’s one of my biggest aspirations. And I long to see you, know what you dream of, and know how you aspire to bring yourself more fully into this world. I’m right here with you.